Would this be a good way to express my frustration?

Dear Margaret,

I just wanted to let you know that I understand why you are angry, since I tried to take your picture while you were in a fit of rage 5 years ago. You have every right to hold it against me for the rest of your life. I completely understand why you haven't invited me to your wedding; after all, what I did was totally wrong, and it definitely justifies why you haven't talked to me since then. The fact that I had previously defended your actions whenever just about everybody else in the family was thoroughly frustrated with you has absolutely no bearing on the matter.

I understand how you feel, and I want you to know that I am not at all upset that you couldn't bring yourself to call or visit when I was in the hospital, not knowing for sure whether I would ever be the same. I know I hurt you very badly by telling you how badly you were behaving. I thought that by the time you were approaching your mid-thirties, you would be mature enough to forgive me for not accepting your bad behavior and acting like a total lunatic, since you were used to getting away with acting like that, and since dad died, nobody else could bring themselves to point out how juvenile your behavior was.

I hope you understand why I won't be inviting you to my funeral, since I would prefer to hear from you while I'm still alive, and if I don't, then I couldn't care less how you feel after I'm dead.

hmmmm .....Well said I might need to use this letter just changing the details !

Well, it definitely makes a point. And seriously... why bother with someone's funeral if you didn't bother when the person was alive?
Time for Margaret to get over a past upset.

... petty, anyone? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

So, you think I should include this as a note on a wedding card? She's getting married tomorrow. Since I'm not invited, I'd have to send it to her, or pass it along through my mom or one of my other siblings.
Or, I could just crash the wedding...

Honestly? If it were me, I would just ignore the wedding and do nothing.

Yeah, that was my first impression of how I should react. I have to admit though, it hurts.

I know it hurts, but can't see being just as bad and making a wedding day crappy as the answer of how to fix it.
Choose a different day and say it face to face?

Tater Salad wrote:So, you think I should include this as a note on a wedding card?
Uh-uh. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]She's getting married tomorrow. Since I'm not invited, I'd have to send it to her,
or pass it along through my mom[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] or [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] one of my other siblings. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Or, [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]I could just crash the wedding... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Hi, Tater,
I'm so sorry. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

And (... although ... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] 'the plan' does sound kinda like fun, doesn't it? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.])
I think your best course of action is to do nothing. (I know: you know... )
... Weellll ... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] maybe a Bride Doll and a lot of sharp pins...? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]... ?
...it's just a thought... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

My boss thinks maybe I oughta just send a card with $50 inside.

Okay! A card, maybe. Money?!! Why?! Yeah, yeah... you do the right thing and be nice....
Not sure I'd be giving money... I'm getting crankier lately.

Well, I'm not sure I'd be willing to give her ANYTHING, either, but my bosses reasoning is that my sister would feel really bad if I did that. I told her I'm not really interested in making her feel bad, BUT, if it sent her the message that I was willing to let by-gones be by-gones, plus, as my mom always likes to point out, I'd be taking the high road...and it would $50 well spent, I think.

My mom also always said that you shouldn't stoop to other people's level.

Tater Salad wrote:My boss thinks maybe I oughta just send a card with $50 inside.

A card would be more than enough considering there was no invitation, I would just ignore the whole thing, but then I'm not necessarily the nicest person

Awww crap! Levels of stooping have nothing to do with $50!! The gift of love is signing that card with "I wish you all the best and you know I love you."

Tater,
What would make you feel the best?
If a lovely card and a gift ($50 is a gift !) will make you
feel good then DO IT! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] The idea is to heal the rift, right? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

P.S. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Your Mom makes good points.