I found this ,also had info on what to say etc.
my brother wore good jeans and and a jacket for his wifes funeral, all were dressed in darker,or subdued colours,how ever a lot of the ladies wore heaps of jewellery ,that was fine, just not expected to see that.

What to wear to a funeral
In Western society, black has long been the traditional color for mourning. However, wearing black isn't required any longer. Wearing a color other than black isn't a sign of disrespect, as long as the color isn't bright or wildly patterned. In many cultures, red is a color for festivals and would be inappropriate for a funeral. Generally, play it safe with any dark or subdued color. Hats may be worn by women, and at Orthodox Jewish services, yarmulkes are worn by the men. Dark suits and ties for men and dresses or suits for women are always appropriate.

Some religions impose strict standards of modesty on women. When in doubt, ask someone or do an Internet search. If you don't know whom to ask, make sure that the only skin you display at a funeral is from the neck up and the knees down.

you got me going now,will need to find out the origin of the traditions.

My guess would be that dark colors are "somber" - at least in the West.
Other cultures; other colors. White is the color of mourning ...
somewhere... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] and red is the color in Japan. (I think it's Japan.)

My personal feeling is that it doesn't matter what anyone wears;
it matters that they are there.

Ja'aj wrote:My personal feeling is that it doesn't matter what anyone wears;
it matters that they are there.

agreed !
IF I have a funeral, I would want people to wear bright colours,and what ever they like ,but as the funeral is not about the departed ,but the left behind ones they can do what ever they like .My sil offered to throw my ashes in the sea, what a lovely thought, then those who want to could go with him and toss a few flowers and candles in the sea.Closure for them and I don't really care a rats what happens after I'm gone.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] I'm with you, Roxanna. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
I've (kinda) made plans to donate
"what's left" (?) to the medical
college in Tucson.
The ransom "they" want for funerals
is absurd.

I am not joking... I don't want a funeral and all that goes with it. If I am not worth doing something like that for... while I am alive, don't waste the time, money and effort when I am dead.
AND... everyone had better be ready to smile, laugh and have a good time! I'd rather celebrate life. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Yup! Me too... (just what everyone needs; an EEEnormous bill!) So not.
I'd rather some (not nearly all! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]) of the $$ be spent on a get-together
where (hopefully) everyone can laugh, swapping stories about the dumb
stuff I did and (hopefully) remembering the good stuff about me and them.

Ja'aj, exactly! I am tired of "traditions" that ended up being money makers in this modern world. All the laws that prevent people from keeping it simple and cheap... can't do this at home, have to follow procedure... and all the stupid things that people buy... expensive and fancy urns and caskets, tons of flowers, etc... WHY?

Speaking of urns... gonna post a new topic. lol

I "get" the flowers, urn, etc... they
are for the bereaved, if they choose it -
(not gonna do the 'loved one' much good [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.])
but other than that ... YEAH.
I see no reason for my family to go into hock for this nonsense.
I'd rather they remember me for some -all?- the other [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
pain-in-the-posterior stuff instead of writing a check! every
month for months ! to pay for some "lovely site overlooking " .... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
- and I'm sure not gonna buy one.

Having spent my share of time "visiting" the aforementioned
'lovely site overlooking...' I can tell you that -after the first
couple of weeks - they are not there. Good for them.
So, after a few months ... I/we don't "visit" after that.
They are with me and everyone else who loved them, and/or
having a much! better time somewhere else. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]