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Is marriage forever... no matter what?
YAFOOEY! :: 16 :: *FINAL RESTING SPOT *
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20101128
Is marriage forever... no matter what?
Should marriage be a binding thing that isn't broken, no matter what.. or are there things you just don't put up with or accept?
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- Join date : 2010-02-13
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Is marriage forever... no matter what? :: Comments
Sun Nov 28, 2010 8:25 pm by JackRabbit
Should marriage be a binding thing
that isn't broken, no matter what ...That's a nice romantic ideal, but sometimes isn't very realistic. People these days don't appear to work hard enough at making it work. Of course, there are times when it's probably best to just call it quits.
... or are there things you just don't put up with or accept?
Why do you think the rabbit is still single?
He doesn't do "high maintenance" ... no nagging ...
no being bossed-around ... no being told what to do, when to do, and how to do. Guess there are some people who are strongly individualistic ... not made for the "marriage thing." hahaha! ...
that isn't broken, no matter what ...That's a nice romantic ideal, but sometimes isn't very realistic. People these days don't appear to work hard enough at making it work. Of course, there are times when it's probably best to just call it quits.
... or are there things you just don't put up with or accept?
Why do you think the rabbit is still single?
He doesn't do "high maintenance" ... no nagging ...
no being bossed-around ... no being told what to do, when to do, and how to do. Guess there are some people who are strongly individualistic ... not made for the "marriage thing." hahaha! ...
Sun Nov 28, 2010 8:29 pm by Breezey Breezey
Jack, some people choose to stay single. Nothing wrong with that. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
I was looking more at couples who are told...
"ignore his woman on the side. All men are the same and you have to put up with it to keep a lasting relationship".
"It's okay if she doesn't have time for you or the kids. She's not the homey type".
Maybe things we might not put up with, but many do because they were taught marriage is forever, no matter what.
I was looking more at couples who are told...
"ignore his woman on the side. All men are the same and you have to put up with it to keep a lasting relationship".
"It's okay if she doesn't have time for you or the kids. She's not the homey type".
Maybe things we might not put up with, but many do because they were taught marriage is forever, no matter what.
Sun Nov 28, 2010 8:39 pm by JackRabbit
That's what "they" tell us: it's forever and you "grin and bear it" ... no matter what. ... NO SALE here. I think there are times when people make mistakes.
"She's not the homey type" ... Then, it sounds to me like she shouldn't be "playing house" and trying to make a home ... stay single. Why inflict YOUR problems on other, innocent people? If she wants to be a "party girl" ... then, fine ... go and have fun ... don't play at the whole making a home and family thing.
"She's not the homey type" ... Then, it sounds to me like she shouldn't be "playing house" and trying to make a home ... stay single. Why inflict YOUR problems on other, innocent people? If she wants to be a "party girl" ... then, fine ... go and have fun ... don't play at the whole making a home and family thing.
Sun Nov 28, 2010 8:43 pm by Breezey Breezey
Exactly! When I was married, I tried to stick it out, no matter how bad it got or how much he drank. People said that was part of marriage and I felt I had taken it on for "better or worse". Finally, I realized a marriage can't really work that way and nobody should have to live like that.
A marriage deserves two people giving their all and doing their best... and treating each other with respect and kindness.
Just how I see it.
A marriage deserves two people giving their all and doing their best... and treating each other with respect and kindness.
Just how I see it.
Sun Nov 28, 2010 8:52 pm by JackRabbit
"A marriage deserves two people giving their all and doing their best ... and treating each other with respect and kindness."
That is EXACTLY correct! ... No doubt about it.
Alcohol puts a whole different spin on it. NO WAY that anyone should put up with that and the associated abuse. ... NO WAY!
would say: get help or get out.
That is EXACTLY correct! ... No doubt about it.
Alcohol puts a whole different spin on it. NO WAY that anyone should put up with that and the associated abuse. ... NO WAY!
would say: get help or get out.
Sun Nov 28, 2010 8:55 pm by Breezey Breezey
Well bunny.... I sure do wish I had heard words like that at the time! why do you suppose some people believe marriage is forever and you take whatever is thrown at you and deal with it?
Why would anyone think that's okay and right?
Why would anyone think that's okay and right?
Sun Nov 28, 2010 9:12 pm by JackRabbit
Sounds like very traditional, "old-tyme" thinking, to me. Probably attached to the church and their prohibitions toward divorce. No disrespect to the church, but people evolve and learn from their mistakes (as well as those of others). There ARE good and valid reasons why some people just don't belong together. As you said before, it's all about a mutual respect and love ... and some people are just not ready to make the sacrifice of self, yet. (Of course, you realize these are all just MY own thoughts on the matter.)
Sun Nov 28, 2010 9:18 pm by Breezey Breezey
I think you may be right. What really gets me is people saying you should just ignore your partner sleeping around or put up with something bad. Even if you decide to stay in the marriage, why ignore things you think are wrong? Why not put those out there as things you don't agree with? To me, it seems like saying you condone it and find it just fine.
If religions taught women to just put up with husbands sleeping around, there is something really wrong with the religion. Wrong is wrong...
If religions taught women to just put up with husbands sleeping around, there is something really wrong with the religion. Wrong is wrong...
Sun Nov 28, 2010 9:53 pm by Tater Salad
If someone makes what you honestly believe is a mistake, and you truly believe they are sorry and want to make it work, it's okay to forgive and try to work things out. But if they prove over and over again that they aren't going to change, then it's up to you to put your foot down. Infidelity is one of the few reasons that the Catholic church allows for annulment. Abuse is another.
Tue Nov 30, 2010 1:00 pm by Ja'aj
Tater,
I'm happy to hear the "horizons" have widened - even that much.[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
For myself, I think Jack is right. (Obviously, twice-divorced here...)
I'm thinking that maaaybe it ought to be more difficult to marry! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
I'm happy to hear the "horizons" have widened - even that much.[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
For myself, I think Jack is right. (Obviously, twice-divorced here...)
I'm thinking that maaaybe it ought to be more difficult to marry! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Wed Dec 01, 2010 9:25 am by Breezey Breezey
Damnit!! I typed away and now.. nothing! Why? Because I wasn't signed in!
The short of my whole thing was... I think we all agree there are some things you don't have to take in a marriage or relationship.
Some still believe you should turn a blind eye to a partner's "dish on the side". Old school thinking?
Some even say "It could be worse." Sure it could. An abused person could have it worse.. they could be dead. I don't like that whole "it could be worse" way of thinking.
The short of my whole thing was... I think we all agree there are some things you don't have to take in a marriage or relationship.
Some still believe you should turn a blind eye to a partner's "dish on the side". Old school thinking?
Some even say "It could be worse." Sure it could. An abused person could have it worse.. they could be dead. I don't like that whole "it could be worse" way of thinking.
Wed Dec 01, 2010 9:27 am by Breezey Breezey
Ja'aj... more difficult to marry! Exactly! Only those who truly wanted to be married and found it WORTH all the extras would bother sticking to it. Divorce is harder than marriage and that just seems a little like closing the barn door after the horse is out.
Wed Dec 01, 2010 12:45 pm by Ja'aj
Bree,
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] The whole thing is sort of "out of hand" -maybe we should
all just view it for what it was - an alliance of finances -
and keep how we feel about the individual between friends
and "each other" ?
Hell if I know... It's an individual thing - with the "government"
making money on it. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
If it's a religious commitment to whoever - fine. If not, fine. *sigh*
Waa! The whole thing has beme so complicated...
People on Social Security are divorcing to they can afford to live! together.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] The whole thing is sort of "out of hand" -maybe we should
all just view it for what it was - an alliance of finances -
and keep how we feel about the individual between friends
and "each other" ?
Hell if I know... It's an individual thing - with the "government"
making money on it. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
If it's a religious commitment to whoever - fine. If not, fine. *sigh*
Waa! The whole thing has beme so complicated...
People on Social Security are divorcing to they can afford to live! together.
Thu Dec 02, 2010 2:15 am by Breezey Breezey
People on Social Security are divorcing to they can afford to live! together.
Ja'aj... I know that and know some who did it. Kind of sad that it comes down to that. Can't get rid of the ones we don't want and can't keep the ones we do want. Kind of seems that way to me at times.
Ja'aj... I know that and know some who did it. Kind of sad that it comes down to that. Can't get rid of the ones we don't want and can't keep the ones we do want. Kind of seems that way to me at times.
Thu Dec 02, 2010 1:18 pm by Ja'aj
Bree,
Yes, I know two couples -married forever!- who divorced
so they could retire and stay alive. The retirement becomes
madatory some places. Also 'physically not able' comes into it.
Living together becoming a way to stay together
and still eat and buy medicine.
So much for "holy" matrimony. Bah.
As for "that's just the way men are - deal with it" crock...
well ... that's a ... crock. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
I never had that particular experience - but I don't "deal" well.
Single and happy about it, here. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Yes, I know two couples -married forever!- who divorced
so they could retire and stay alive. The retirement becomes
madatory some places. Also 'physically not able' comes into it.
Living together becoming a way to stay together
and still eat and buy medicine.
So much for "holy" matrimony. Bah.
As for "that's just the way men are - deal with it" crock...
well ... that's a ... crock. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
I never had that particular experience - but I don't "deal" well.
Single and happy about it, here. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Mon Dec 06, 2010 6:35 pm by roxanna
maybe it's not human nature to remain married to one person for a life time ,maybe just long enough to rear a family is enough , although in certain circumstances that's no option either.we are brain washed from an early age by movies,tv, music to expect romance to last for ever,it doesn't , if there is nothing solid behind it , eg, respect, commitment ,HARD WORK !! it will colapse. my xgrandmother in law said 'you both need to pull the cart in the same direction' so a common goal is esential,and both parties need to work at it.i lasted 11 years in marriage, and have been much happier in the 35 years of singlehood 
just the way it turned out .
just the way it turned out .
Wed Dec 08, 2010 3:44 pm by Ja'aj
Rox,
I've always thought the "marriage vows" should read,
".. until one of us changes our mind." [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
How 'bout "Can I get back to you on that?" };>
I've always thought the "marriage vows" should read,
".. until one of us changes our mind." [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
How 'bout "Can I get back to you on that?" };>
Wed Dec 08, 2010 6:03 pm by roxanna
sure jaaj ,email if you like .
Wed Dec 08, 2010 8:34 pm by Ja'aj
Thanks, Rox. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]HUG.
I meant though, how about 'can I get back to you on that?"
as a wedding vow response. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Boy, and I complain about others being unclear!? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
I'm sorry about that.
I meant though, how about 'can I get back to you on that?"
as a wedding vow response. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Boy, and I complain about others being unclear!? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
I'm sorry about that.
Thu Dec 09, 2010 12:45 am by roxanna
jaaj, you are not unclear, i'm just somewhat slow !! 
Thu Dec 09, 2010 9:33 am by Ja'aj
Rox,
You have that too, huh? *sigh* [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
You have that too, huh? *sigh* [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
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