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How do YOU fix a broken friendship?

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How do YOU fix a broken friendship? Empty How do YOU fix a broken friendship?

Post by Breezey Breezey Sun Nov 14, 2010 6:25 pm

Do you think there's times it just can't be fixed?
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Post by Tater Salad Mon Nov 15, 2010 1:38 pm

That's a tough one, but I'd like to think if it was a true friendship, it should be possible to make amends, and let bygones be bygones.
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Post by Breezey Breezey Mon Nov 15, 2010 10:24 pm

Even true friendships are sometimes hard to repair or get back to what they use to be.
Is there ever a way that works every time and is forgetting the biggest problem?
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Post by Tater Salad Tue Nov 16, 2010 2:15 pm

I think forgiving may often be the biggest problem.
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Post by JackRabbit Tue Nov 16, 2010 3:49 pm

"The mind creates the abyss
but the heart crosses it."
— Stephen Levine, Ondrea Levine
huggies
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Post by Breezey Breezey Thu Nov 18, 2010 10:17 am

Sometimes, the heart doesn't mend so easily. Family can be even worse. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
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Post by Ja'aj Sat Nov 27, 2010 11:43 am

I agree; in my experience family can be more
unforgiving - with less reason! that anyone else.
What's up?
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Post by Ja'aj Sat Nov 27, 2010 11:53 am

Sometimes... it can't be fixed.

I depends on the people involved and each one's estimation
of the damage done.
I have observed that often the person who did the damage fails to grasp - even with a freakin' diagram! - the extent of hurt and/or
anger that the other person feels.
Pooh-poohing their feelings is not the way.
"You're making waaay too big a deal out of it", isn't going to help-
especially if said by the person who is apologizing!

Regardless, no one has any right to tell another person how
they should feel.
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Post by Breezey Breezey Sat Nov 27, 2010 11:54 am

I see that sometimes, a big upset just needs time to work itself out. You can't always "fix" things.
Not much "up" for now. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Ja'aj, it seems you were reading my mind.
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Post by Ja'aj Sat Nov 27, 2010 2:01 pm

I were? Well... good for me. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

'Things' can be fixed, thank God, if both people want
it to be fixed.
And if the person or persons apologizing
(sometimes it's a little bit of everyone; sometimes one person
really goofed) give it TIME... the people who are hurt, offended,
- whatever - don't have to follow (and won't!) someone else's
time table. I have been so appalled I apologized immediately.
I hadn't any intention of hurting - or whatever- in the first place.
The other person still has to get over the shock, even when they
know! it wasn't intentional. It still hurts.
My feeling is: if I really want to be forgiven, I say I'm sorry
and wait for them to decide or adjust.

If I'm accepting an apology...
FIRST...
one has to be made.
Second ... patience - if I'm not ready to forgive - had better be
forthcoming; otherwise I'm back to wondering just how sorry they
really are and how much of it is inconvenience/petulance. .
No one! has to accept an apology merely because one was made.
(Except maybe in politics.)

If one is owed; MAKE IT.

A lot of the time both or ALL parties should apologize - and they
should mean! it.
A minimum of excusing oneself -explain and shut up about that part of it -
and a maximum of "sorry".
So there. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
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Post by Breezey Breezey Sun Nov 28, 2010 8:40 pm

One thing I do that aggravates certain people.. no matter how upset we are, I say "I still love you." and hug them. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] I think everybody still needs to be reminded of that.
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Post by Ja'aj Tue Nov 30, 2010 12:55 pm

I think that's great!
Depending on how they've experienced arguments
in the past - some of us feel that it means the
realtionship is over.
I am happy to say "not so" - in most cases and also
in my case unless you've literally tried to sell my kid into
slavery or something equally heinous it's a diifference of
OPINION, people! Not the end of the relationship.
Ja'aj
Ja'aj
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